Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Day Three Of Bloody December!

Ooohh... day three. That is, like, so impressive Taylor. How do you do it? Heh heh, sarcasm aside. (and yes, that was sarcasm. weak sarcasm, but sarcasm nonetheless. besides, i save the real sarcasm for when i'm offline.) So, back to where I was. Apologies for so many parenthesis, by the way. Aside from my horribly used sarcasm, today is Day Three of my Bloody December. Now, to decide which book I'll use. I have made a handy dandy folder containing all the information I need. I just haven't... er, organized it. So I'm sorta winging it here. It happens. Especially with Tay-Toe.

Oh, my. Let's see... Okay, me choose, (gosh, I suppose) Marked by P.C. Cast and Kristin Cast.

Okay, before I get started on this, on the review and the grading and such, if you like this book then DO NOT READ THIS. You've been warned, because, in fact, I do not want to hurt anyone's feelings. Alrighty, then.

~*~Marked by P.C. Cast and Kristin Cast~*~
Originality- 16/20
Characters- 12/20
Remembrance- 8/10
Setting- 7/10
Plot- 16/20
Ending- 6/10
Recommend To Read- 3/10
Total- 68/100
Grade- D

(from B&N, obviously)
Enter the dark, magical world of The House of Night, a world very much like our own, except here vampyres have always existed. Sixteen-year-old Zoey Redbird has just been Marked as a fledgling vampyre and joins the House of Night, a school where she will train to become an adult vampire. That is, if she makes it through the Change--and not all of those who are Marked do. It sucks to begin a new life, especially away from her friends, and on top of that, Zoey is no average fledgling. She has been chosen as special by the vampyre Goddess Nyx. Zoey discovers she has amazing powers, but along with her powers come bloodlust and an unfortunate ability to Imprint her human ex-boyfriend. To add to her stress, she is not the only fledgling at the House of Night with special powers: When she discovers that the leader of the Dark Daughters, the school's most elite group, is misusing her Goddess-given gifts, Zoey must look deep within herself for the courage to embrace her destiny--with a little help from her new vampyre friends.

I, in no way, have anything to do with that summary. In fact, if I could, I would rewrite the whole dang thing. But alas, I cannot. One thing you need to know about my feelings with this book: I have dubbed this book the skankiest book I have ever read. When I read this, I felt like I had been transported to the popular table back two or three years ago. Some might be like, "Omigosh, I can relate!" or "Omigosh, that must be so awesome! I wanna be popular, too! Gimme that book!". Well, it wasn't! If you knew, you would know that a few years back everyone was using a brain-numbing and mindless lingo that hurt my eardrums even when spoken in whispers. It's like P.C. Cast went back in time to my school to record this and considered it "how the kids talk nowadays". No, wait, she consulted her daughter. My bad. It is so horribly astounding how shallow these people are. Even when they don't realize it. And stereotypical. Enter: Stevie Rae Johnson, Damien Maslin, and Aphrodite. These are very stereotypical characters. Exhibit A: Stevie Rae Johnson described as a "okie" cowgirl. Does that not explain enough? She uses "y'all" and "ohmygosh" for christ's sake! Exhibit B: Damien Maslin. Usually when you think the name Damien, you think either gay or vampire. Well, ding-ding, this one is both. Why can't they have a nice homosexual dude named Jake or Eric (because we all know the name Erik is gay enough)? 'Nuff said. And Exhibit C: Aprodite. Seriously? Are you kidding me? She is probably the one or the majority of the reason why this is a seriously skanky book. She is a slut! I don't have a problem with people who want to express themselves sexually, but, please, in private. Aphrodite has no such inhibitions and pretty much masturbates right in front of her friends and thinks nothing of it. Why should she? She is the "Queen Bee". Well, that is, until Zoey Redbird (the heroine. she is also a slut. a closet slut.). But the dethroning of Aphrodite does not condone for her idiotic demeanor and I cannot stand her. Another reason why this is a skanky skanky book is when the heroine meets the hero. Ugh! I cringe at the thought of it but I must tell you the horrible-ness so you can spare yourself having to read it in detail. Oh, and look! The hero's name is Erik Night. My, my, isn't that ironic? Anywho, Zoey is walking through the halls of the House of Night, she happens upon a boy against the wall with a girl on her knees in front of him. And yes she is begging him, but not in a publically accepted way. Okay, at first all she did was cut his leg (jeans zipped up) and lick the blood while he protests (see, they've been going out but he doesn't want her anymore. well, obviously she wants him and then some) but she doesn't listen and proceeds to unzip his pants. It's around this time when Erik notices Zoey in the halls and tries to push away the clinging arms of (who would have guessed???) Aphrodite, screaming out "No!" which was intended for Zoey who was trying to make her escape. And it makes me wonder. "No!"--what? What is no, Erik? What, do you want Zoey to be the one on her knees? In a flash, did you notice her as your true love and you didn't want her to get the wrong idea and/or see you like this? Or were you concerned that she'd be a gossip and, as I've said before, get the wrong idea? Did you happen to forget about the girl in front of you trying to give you a bj and just push her aside once you saw this girl? Apparently, yes. And did you also forget that there is a 50% chance that your member is hanging out? Probably, so. The disgusting fact is that while Zoey is scurrying away she wants to drink the blood from his leg. Apparently she does want to be the girl on her knees. Despite all this shit, I think that I might despise Erik the least out of all of them. I cannot begin to describe the horror having to read all the ridiculous shinanigans of these people, and I do not want to, either. And the most stupid thing is that, while reading it, I was somewhat enjoying the fact that there were never slow points. That is something I guess. Seriously, if this book's characters were less cheesy and they replaced that irritating y off and tack an i on vampire like it's supposed to be like (even though in some cultures they do spell it with a y, but i digress) then this book might have been maybe enjoyable and I would not glare at it whenever I looked at my bookshelf. But, hey, if you likes yourself some skanky reads, then go right ahead. Just remember: This book took a fraction of the innocence I believe that I have away. Yes, I knew about bj's and all the frickin stuff that involves Aphrodite. Doesn't mean that I like to read about it and act like it's so really normal. And I knew that it was possible for people to be so like teenagers but I also thought that most adult YA writers liked to retain some dignity. Guess not.

That was exhausting, *sigh*. I doubt that there will be another hate review this month. Vampires aren't to be hated, but vampyres are.



Amanda said...

People need to read this.

TruBlu93 said...

Wow, you're rant actually kinda makes me want to read this book, I found it kinda funny. I don't know, I'm just odd.


TruBlu93 said...

Me again..hehe

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