Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer

Oh, god. I am soooo glad that I am done with this month. Sorry, but I am lazy and having to work was excruciating. I'm tuckered out. But I think I have a few more posts left in me. Let's see how I do. And if I don't do well? Um...then, this never happened. And if you tell anyone, some unknown branch from the government that protects book reviewers will HUNT YOU DOWN. Okay, I'll play down the drama for a moment. =)

~*~Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer~*~
Originality- 10/10
Characters- 20/20
Remembrance- 9/10
Setting- 20/20
Plot- 20/20
Ending- 10/10
Recommend To Read- 9/10
Total- 98/100 (oh, my)
Grade- A

(from the magical kingdom of B&N)
"Don't be afraid," I murmured. "We belong together."
I was abruptly overwhelmed by the truth of my own words. This moment was so perfect, so right, there was no way to doubt it.
His arms wrapped around me, holding me against him... It felt like every nerve ending in my body was a live wire.
"Forever," he agreed.

Sorry if that summary (or lack thereof) wasn't efficient enough, but hey, that's the only thing the rest of the world had to look at while waiting for it to come out. This book has one thing in it that the others wanted but did not: SEX. Sexual innuendos, hints at sex, Bella vaguely remembering how much she likes it... Well, you get it. And, guess what happens with sex??? BABIES!!! Hmm, that'll teach Bella to think about what she sleeps with. So, the result of this wonderful wonderful sexual experience of Bella and Edward? Renesmee! Yayyy. Bella got herself knocked up! Wheeee. Well, this is an interesting development. It seems like when she was saying that she wasn't "that girl" she was really a closet "that girl". Bella is "THAT GIRL"!!! She is the one that gets a bun in the oven! Oh, and I thought that nothing else could make Bella seem more idiotic. You'd think that a man who's been alive for more than a century could remember to bring the condoms. I know that Edward is supposedly a virgin when he meets Bella, but honestly, he could have little bronze-haired/green-eyed children running all around the globe. Edward, you fiend! Hehehe. And I've heard of parents saying metaphorically that their child was killing them, but I'd never thought that a child in the womb could make that literal. Well, Bella didn't hold a grudge (or maybe she couldn't remember her baby murdering her) after the fact. But the cool part of this book was when Bella gets "vampi-fied". It was sweet! She makes me want to go out and find a vampire and make him/her change me into one of them. Honestly, she makes it seem like being a human is so dull. And she isn't being specific. It makes every single human boring! Oh, that was a punch in the gut to the ego of the world. Bella made an oopsy. But it's cool. I liked the story and my favorite character was Garrett (?). He is frickin awesome and him and Kate are perfect. Irena (?) pissed me off too much to care what happened at the end. And I'm cool with what happened to Jacob and Nessie. It isn't like he's trying to get into her diapers for any other reason than hygiene. Chill with the child molestation accusations, people. He's only cleaning her poo.



Amanda said...

Fwaha. This is now my FAVORITE review that you've done. Thank you!

Tay-Toe said...

Why, thank you. *curtsies* (?)